Just Be Positive

Kenapa harus takut kalau kita yakin?

Terkadang rasa takut dan kekhawatiran berlebih, malah jadi pemicu yang membuat gerak tubuh dan badan kita menuju ke “arah sana” yang dikhawatirkan tersebut. Na’udzubillahimindzalik..

Makanya kalau kata nasehat, pikiran positif akan melahirkan perkataan-perkataan dan tindakan-tindakan yang positif juga.

Tulisan ini saya buat saat sedang melakukan perjalanan menuju Bandung, terinspirasi dari sebuah post yang sedikit “menggelitik” pemikiran saya dan yang kemudian membuat saya “teringat” akan kondisi diri saya sendiri. So, ya. Tulisan ini hanya pendapat dari sudut pandang pribadi saja.

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Kembali kepada nasehat positif tadi, pikiran positif akan melahirkan perkataan-perkataan dan tindakan-tindakan yang positif juga. Ya, saya masih dan akan selalu yakin dan percaya demikian.


Misal, dalam suatu tes atau ujian sesuatu. Ada sebagian orang pada mulanya grogi, nervous, nggak yakin, ketakutan, dan sebagainya. Akan tetapi karena akhirnya mereka yakin dan telah bersungguh-sungguh dengan ikhtiarnya masing-masing, yakin bisa, yakin mampu, kemudian semakin hari semakin positif semangat dan pikirannya, ternyata benar-benar membuahkan hasil, mereka pun lolos ujian!

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Bahasan berikutnya, terkait dengan artikel-artikel yang suka beredar luas di masyarakat dan berdasarkan penelitian-penelitian psikologi oleh para ahli.

Misal, mungkin pernah ada yang mengatakan, “wajar”, namanya juga hidup berpasangan, apalagi dalam kehidupan berumah-tangga, berantem-berantem begitu itu “wajar”, bisa jadi bumbu asem-manis kehidupan berpasangan dan biar bisa jadi pengalaman dan pembelajaran hidup untuk ke depannya atau bahkan dapat diceritakan kepada anak-cucu kita.

Akan tetapi, kalau bisa nggak perlu berantem-berantem, kenapa harus “memaksakan” untuk berantem.

Terkadang stereotype-stereotype yang umum dan berlaku “pada umumnya” di masyarakat, yang dianggap “wajar” dan “biasa”, nggak perlu dijadikan “trend” juga atau beranggapan “ini lho track yg udah bener” atau “berarti kalau kamu “begini” itu sudah wajar lho“, dan sebagainya.

Terkadang artikel-artikel hasil penelitian dunia psikologi untuk sebagian (kecil) orang memang nggak cocok.

Misal lagi, ada yang mengatakan “wajar”, ibu hamil kan pasti ngidam. Tapi nyatanya, untuk sebagian orang ternyata “perasaan ngidam” tersebut nggak muncul sama sekali sampai mereka melahirkan.

(bahkan dalam hal ini, Ibu saya yang orang Biologi murni, bilang, kalau “trend ngidam” ini hanya fenomena “ikut-ikutan” dan bahkan hanyak “efek pengaruh pikiran”, karena para ibu hamil ini senang membaca artikel-artikel terkait ngidam, dan berdasarkan pengalaman Beliau, anak sampai 3 begini, nggak pernah ngidam sama sekali, yang membuat saya malah bertanya-tanya “kok bisa Bu? wow”)

Kemudian ada lagi artikel yg mengatakan, untuk kehidupan berpasangan, nanti di usia mencapai 5 tahun ke atas, pasti akan muncul rasa bosan dan akan dimulai berantem-berantem kecil dan itu adalah “wajar”. Tapi nyatanya, banyak juga yang ternyata pasangan yang sudah hidup bersama selama 10 tahun ++, bahkan 20 tahun ++, nggak pernah sama sekali berantem, nggak pernah sama sekali merasa bosan, bahkan “dipaksa” untuk menciptakan “adegan” berantem pun, gagal juga, alias bener-bener nggak bisa berantem sama sekali. Nah lho.

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Kalau nggak salah, cmiiw, di setiap penelitian-penelitian psikologi-psikologi tersebut biasanya pakai angka persentase-persentase. Misal, ingin membuktikan kondisi “begini (X)” pada masyarakat yang dianggap “umum” dan “wajar”, yang kemudian diharapkan hasil kondisi “begini (X)” memiliki persentasi paling besar mendekati mayoritas dari random sampel yang diambil. Akan tetapi kemudian terdapat catatan, bahwa kondisi “begini (X)” mengandung kesan atau konotasi negatif.

Misalnya seperti ini, diadakan suatu penelitian tentang tema sesuatu hal, yang penelitiannya sebenarnya sudah dilakukan berulang-ulang juga oleh para ahli dengan tema yang sama, kemudian menunjukkan hasil seperti ini:

86% orang itu ternyata memang “begini (X)” dan 14% lainnya “begitu (Y)”. Maka muncul stereotype “umum”, “oh wajar” kalau misal mengalami kondisi X. Padahal, sekali lagi padahal, kondisi X adalah kondisi dengan kesan negatif.

Kenapa harus memaksakan diri menjadi bagian yang 86% tadi yang “umum” dan dianggap “wajar” berlaku dalam masyarakat yang padahal merupakan sesuatu hal yang berkesan negatif?

Kalau kita bisa menjadi atau bahkan naturally menjadi bagian yang 14% yaitu kondisi Y dan memang golongan 14% ini merupakan sesuatu hal dengan kondisi yang positif, kenapa tidak?

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Saat ini saya masih dan selalu percaya dengan kekuatan pikiran. Apa yang kita jalani, alami, dan lalui merupakan hasil buah pemikiran kita sendiri dan sesuai apa yang kita percayai. Dan saya masih dan akan selalu percaya nasehat para bijak yang sudah saya sebutkan di awal tulisan, di mana, pikiran positif akan melahirkan perkataan-perkataan dan tindakan-tindakan yang positif juga.

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Well, hidup cuma sekali. Manfaatkan sebaik-baiknya dan sepositif-positifnya.

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Sama seperti yang sedang saya alami (eeaaa curcol). Saya yakin dan masih akan selalu yakin, Tuhan Bukan Tidak Percaya kepada kami, bukan, melainkan Tuhan Mempersiapkan waktu terbaik-Nya, dan saya sangat yakin kalau kami punya kesempatan yang sama dengan yang lain.

Andaikata pun, na’udzubillahimindzalik, sampai nanti di penghujung waktu masih “belum kejadian” juga, maka saya yakin, Tuhan Memang Punya Rencana Terindah untuk kami berdua dan mungkin Tuhan Memang Mempercayakan kami untuk suatu hal lainnya yang memiliki manfaat yang sama atau bahkan lebih. Dan toh pun jika benar demikian, na’udzubillahimindzalik, mungkin sudah beberapa masa yang kami lewati, di usia panjang kami insyaaAllah (aamiin) dan mungkin juga sudah beberapa aksi atau kegiatan positif yang sudah kami kerjakan, lalui, dan jalani, dan mudah-mudahan bisa bermanfaat juga.

Setidaknya juga, jika benar sampai di penghujung waktu nanti kami masih “belum-belum juga”, na’udzubillahimindzalik, setidaknya, kami pasti sudah berusaha semaksimal kami bisa, berbagai ikhtiar dan cara pasti sudah kami coba, dan tentu saja tidak akan ada penyesalan dan rasa kecewa sedikit pun kepada-Nya, karena rasa kecewa dan rasa sesal yang muncul adalah jelas bisikan setan.

Lagian, masa’ kita mau marah dan benci kepada Sang Maha Pencipta kita? Ya nggak to.

So jadi, tetap dan berusaha selalu positif. Kondisikan pikiran agar selalu positive thinking. InsyaaAllah “bonus”-nya pasti juga positif. (dan mudah-mudahan “positif” beneran, eeaaa, aamiin) 😀


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X-Trans Arah Bandung,

23 September 2017

08.25 WIB

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Konsep Rejeki dan Hindari Iri (4)

Bertemu lagi dengan catatan hati mengenai konsep rejeki yang memang Tuhan telah persiapkan ke dalam kehidupan setiap insan di dunia. Dan di dalam pemahaman ini terkandung nilai religius yang semakin untuk bisa  eling, semakin untuk ingat selalu kepada Sang Pencipta bahwa Ia Tidak Akan Pernah Salah.

 

Memulai tahun 2016 ini, saya memutuskan untuk “menghilang” sejenak dari salah satu akun social media yaitu facebook, lebih tepatnya akun lama fb saya dan memutuskan untuk membuat lagi yang baru. Entahlah, semua hanya terdorong oleh perasaan “tidak enak” terhadap orang lain. Apalagi terutama apabila, mengalami masa transisi yang dirasa lumayan dalam hal kehidupan lingkungan sekitar. Sebelumnya saya juga sudah melakukan  “menghilang” secara utuh dari social media bernama path. Saya dulu berpikir, path ini betul sangat eksklusif ke dalam beberapa orang saja dalam lingkaran pertemanannya, namun saya merasa “ada yang kurang pantas” dari path ini. Lalu apa bedanya dengan grup-grup yang sudah terbentuk, misal di whatsapp atau line atau bbm dengan si path ini.

Pada intinya, mungkin betul, tidak semua orang bisa menerima apa yang kita keluarkan dari pikiran kita yang biasa kita tuangkan dalam setiap posting di social media milik kita, walaupun pada istilahnya itu adalah kita “menyampah” pada halaman rumah sendiri, belum tentu orang yang melihat juga turut senang.

 

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Anyway, kembali ke dalam konsep rejeki Tuhan.

Pada suatu kesempatan, saya kembali membuka lapak authentic di beberapa grup di facebook dengan menggunakan akun baru, di mana kondisinya saya tidak memasang profile picture. Dan kondisinya pada masa itu adalah sedang sering terjadi beberapa kejadian mengenai seller “bodong” yang pada akhirnya membuat banyak orang menjadi latah jika ingin bertransaksi dengan beberapa orang baru bagi mereka, para calon pembeli dari beberapa seller ini akan melakukan sesi “klarifikasi ke-trusted-an” yang biasanya suka dilakukan di halaman grup.

Namun entah memang karena memang sudah merupakan rejeki bagi saya, saya mendapatkan kesempatan yang mengesankan & membuat meningkatkan keyakinan bahwa Tuhan Maha Adil dan Tidak Akan Pernah Salah. Alhamdulillah dengan tanpa ba-bi-bu, kedua orang calon customer saya saat itu langsung melakukan transaksi terhadap saya tanpa harus klarifikasi ini dan itu di halaman grup.

 

Saya semakin yakin apa yang sudah saya putuskan pada akhir 2015 lalu untuk mencoba “bertransformasi” menjadi pribadi yang lebih baru lagi ternyata keputusan yang benar. Saya yakin Tuhan Yang Telah Menuntun saya untuk melakukan hal tersebut. Maksud saya, walaupun ini adalah akun baru, bukan berarti Tuhan Menutup Jalur Rizqi saya di dalam usaha berdagang secara online ini.

 

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23.03.2016

11.15 WIB

Female and Engineering Life (1)

Hello February! 🙂

Today I want to tell you a little bit story about my life as an environmentalist through these 2 (two) years of working experiences, or I could say my life after graduated from Environmental Engineering field for my Bachelor’s Degree last 2013. Also how I could be on this way today.

This writing is inspired by some friends, especially my girlfriends  who always have enthusiastic when they talked about their future dreams and their “what’s next to do” even though some of them are married and have babies.

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Senior High School Graduate and “Choosing” Phase

After finished from senior high school, I admitted that I was included in “followers” type of person. I had a dream to be a police woman and wanted to continue my study to the Police Academy in Semarang, Central Java. But if I could say, maybe that was only because of I studied in semi-military senior high school which has similar school-type with the higher education of military-acamedy schools. My senior high school is applying military system, such as high disciplinary and applying boarding school system.

However, the fact said that I was a “follower” person, so I decided to try any opportunities ahead. Coincidentally, the Police Academy where I dreamed of to be part of it, didn’t open for new students in that year, 2008.
(I’m still wondering why they postponed it until a year ahead. Cmiiw. But I realize something that maybe it was what we always called as “God Always Makes a Good Plan for all of us in this world” and yes, God Always Knows the best for ourselves.)

Then I followed others to register for some tests to enter some universities, and my first preference was the UGM or Universitas Gadjah Mada which placed in Jogja, with majors I wanted to take were Dentistry and Electrical Engineering. Moreover, the UGM is near from my hometown, Banjarnegara which we only take 6 hours maximum to reach Jogja City from Banjarnegara. I took 2 (two) types of the UGM entrance examinations, but sadly I didn’t pass them all. Ha-ha. I felt really sad as if there’s no more options I could take. Well, I mean it. I had my weeping until 3 (three) days after. I don’t know why I was really sad and upset.

Then (again) I followed my friends to register another entrance examination for another university and it was the UnDip or Universitas Diponegoro which placed in Semarang, with majors I wanted to take were General Medicine and Electrical Engineering. Sadly, I was in very less information condition about various types of study fields in the university. That’s why I kept being a “follower” to others. I kept choosing what my friends chose. Really sad, wasn’t it? But before the UnDip test held, the ITB or Institut Teknlogi Bandung opened registration for its first type of entrance examination. Again, as a “follower”, I completed my registration form too like my friends did, whereas I didn’t really understand enough what study fields there were.

And it was my first inner turmoil throughout the university application processes..

Actually I really wanted to continue my higher education near my hometown, Banjarnegara which might be taken place in Purwokerto, Semarang, Jogja, or the furthest city Solo. I was a homesick type of person. I often felt it when I was still in senior high school. So I arranged my self hardly to be a student or a part of those near universities (which placed in those 4 cities). Until oneday I told my parents that I didn’t want to take another chances aside from the ITB’s entrance examination or the UnPad’s that is still also in Bandung area (same city with ITB and my senior high school), although my parents occasionally forced me to take another chances of other universities which placed in West Java area or Jakarta area, such as the UI and the IPB. No, I really didn’t want it. I said, the furthest city was only Bandung, not Bogor even more Jakarta! I remembered how angry I was. Ha-ha.

Well yes, words are words, I had to carry out what I just said to my parents. I had no other choices. So I took the ITB’s entrance examination and felt like I wouldn’t take it seriously, and wouldn’t make it. Besides it’s true that almost all the questions were really hard to be solved. I was hoping I would be rejected and could came back to my region, Central Java area. That examination held after I failed 2 (two) tests of the UGM’s. And again,  coincidentally the UnPad hadn’t open registration for its entrance examination yet.

About a month later…..

I remember that night, me and my generation, Teners were assembling in the school’s main hall  after our dinner activity before we came back to our dormitories. We were talking seriously about the national exams that would be occured in days ahead. I forget in detail, a day after that night if I’m not mistaken, me and my friends drove together into the counceling office. Yes, only for checking the announcement about the ITB’s entrance examination result. And it was really unexpected moment. Unbelievable. I read the announcement on computer screen again and again. I was stunned! I repeatedly inserted my test number and pressed “enter” only for making sure my self.

Well, well, yes. I passed the examination. But really, I felt like “floating” and on the contrary mind I started thinking that I had to deal with the separate ways again between Banjarnegara and Bandung and I had to enjoy it (again?), IF I took a chance be an ITB student. Yes, I mean it, “if”. I was in very doubtful almost a week until some friends came to me, advised me, even one of them was angry to me. They said I had to let the UGM dream go away, move on, and face the new destiny of me, accept it, enjoy it. Then one of them, his name is Pandu, he said with pressure words and a little bit like angry (because he’s really wanted to be an ITB student, but he failed on that test and felt upset), he said I HAD TO be grateful, move on, and MUST accept the chance! For a moment I was glued and started to think what he just said was so much true: I had to move on! And yes, finally by the time I realized it. But still, it was like a dream and until today I’m thinking I was just…..lucky.

(Pandu was failed on first type of ITB’s entrance examination but he made it on the second chance on the second type of its entrance examination. Today, he’s an expert geologist who’s working for one of BUMN company.)

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Being a Woman, Life, Passion, Dreams

Well, yes. After that dramatically chapter of my life, finally I accepted the result and became more grateful and wouldn’t make it as a useless chance. I was happy and preparing my self for the next stage to be part of the Ganesha Campus.

I was in Faculty of Civil and Environmental Engineering department and took Environmental Engineering for my major.

Days became weeks, weeks became months, and months became years. As I said before, I was just lucky and might be it’s true that I don’t have any aptitude to be an engineer. I needed 5 (five) years to complete my Bachelor’s Degree by the final GPA score isn’t as good as others’.

But still, really Thank God that my journey as an amateur-graduate-engineer started right after I was announced as a graduate-to-be, after finished my final thesis examination. It was in July 2013. Before the graduation ceremony, by the help of my thesis supervisor, I joined a short-term project that only held in 2 (two) months. That was my first job as an environmentalist. I was so excited and very happy, even though the salary was (maybe) in low value. But truly, as a less-smart person, I wouldn’t make that chance useless. (I won’t say my self as an idiot or a dumb after all those years that everything I’ve faced. I’ll always appreciate my self in previous life inside “college chapter” and won’t feel regret at all.)

In January 2014, I moved to Jakarta with my husband (finally we’re officially married, :p) with jobless condition. Actually, it wasn’t a problem anymore for my self because I’m married. But since my husband has never felt objection if I went to work, so I tried to apply for some new jobs. And back again, lucky me, I was hired by a company to have role as a junior environmental engineer or we could say as an assistant of the environmental engineer expert for a project. The point is I still have a chance and still have my lucky to implement all of I’ve learned at the college into the environmental engineering world until today.

To be honest, at the first time I acquainted with the engineering world or the ITB’s world, I didn’t have an enough knowledge what engineering field study was. It has proven by the result of my final GPA score and the 5 (five) years I had to finish my study. (ha-ha) I felt hard passing day by day there, inside the ITB. That’s why I always underline the word “lucky” for that “ITB scene” of my life.

I used to think that is very impossible for me to get an environmental engineering job, again, I thought it would be related to my GPA score. But the fate said that actually I have same opportunity with others and I don’t need to feel low self-esteem. Well yes, to be honest, I’m still feel inadequate when I compared my self with my friends until today. Nonetheless, I’m trying to be more confident and fight my faint-hearted. And gradually, I’m accustomed by this engineering field and becoming enjoy with its world. Met new people then increasing my network have made my self to be more spirited, confident, and relaxed with anything that happened in working situation.

I trully never imagine that my life would be as wonderful as it is. Really Thank God for everything I have. Slowly but sure, even though I’m a female and now working at engineering field, I still have dreams to develop my self and increasing my skills through a higher education or some other ways I could take later. Might be true, nowadays I’m not good enough in this engineering world but it’s still possible for me to make it as my “real” passion for my future and for my entire life.

However, I have to realize my role in this world too, my responsibility as a wife and a mother (later, insyaaAllah). I have to balance my self among my family life, my hereafter life, my dreams, and anything I want to do.

The most important thing is everything that I lived in, must have gotten permission from my husband because in accordance to the God’s rule, my life is in his hands which I became his responsibility after the consent granted happened (ijab qobul procession). And for the reciprocal, I have to keep my self keep on positive-track and always be in the right way, even if I would be very ambitious for chasing my dreams. I hope someday I could be useful not only for my self or my family but also for people around me. Aamiin. Wish me luck then. 🙂

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Matraman, 21.02.2016

Criminal Case dan Facebook Baru

Hai, hai!
Wah, sungguh sangat tidak terasa sekali ya. Tau-tau, Bulan Januari 2016 sudah mau akan berlalu lagi saja!

Oke, kali ini saya ingin sedikit bercerita mengenai Criminal Case. Tau kan game yang sangat terkenal itu?

Yup.
Jadi…begini ceritanya.

Suatu ketika saya memutuskan membuat akun baru untuk facebook saya. Istilahnya, akun yang lama sedang non-aktif dan saya membuat akun baru. Lagipula, dengan alasan ingin “berbenah diri”, maka saya wujudkan niat itu menjadi nyata. Selain, daripada saya harus mem-filter satu per satu daftar teman-teman dalam friendlist saya, jadi baiknya saya putuskan membuat akun baru saja. Untuk alasannya mengapa demikian, agak sukar dijabarkan. Tapi pada intinya, terkadang saya masih suka merasakan perasaan “tidak enak” kepada beberapa teman saya (yang ada dalam friendlist tentu saja) –yang mungkin– kurang berkenan akibat dari postingan-postingan yang saya buat. Ya…intinya demikian. Sukar untuk dijabarkan secara gamblang. 🙂

Lhooo…..kok jadi bahas itu. Hehe. Oke, back to topic.

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Jadi, pada akun facebook lama, saya sudah memainkan game Criminal Case ini sampai pada level 50-an. Cukup lama juga bukan saya bermain game tersebut? Haha. 😀
Kalau tidak salah ingat, butuh 2 (dua) tahun lebih untuk bisa mencapai level tersebut. Karena saya pun memainkannya secara santai, tidak terus-menerus secara intensif.

Pada saat usai membuat akun facebook baru saat itu, saya tetiba kepikiran dengan game Criminal Case ini. Saya tidak bisa membayangkan bila harus mengulang case demi case dari level awal, yang mana akan sangat membutuhkan waktu yg sangat lama even bisa sampai lebih dari 2 (dua) tahun untuk bisa mencapai posisi level 50-an seperti saat ini. Rasanya…..sudah capek duluan ketika ingin memulainya kembali.

Walau ini memang “hanya sekedar” permainan atau game, tapi rasanya sudah seperti skripsi. Apabila hilang 1 (satu) folder penuh file skripsi dengan tiba-tiba, tanpa adanya back up di mana-mana, rasanya akan sangat malaaas sekali untuk memulai lagi dari awal. Rasanya tuh beraaat sekali. Haha. 😀
(lebay sih emang, haha :D)

Namun ternyata…..

Kemarin saya mencoba iseng membuka kembali aplikasi game ini pada Android saya. Dengan tentunya data-data game dengan menggunakan akun sebelumnya (akun facebook lama) masih tersimpan rapi dalam aplikasi. Kemudian saya mencoba log in kembali dengan menggunakan akun facebook baru saya. Awalnya sudah agak pesimis (lebay, :p). Namun ternyata….. Taraaaaa! Bisa! 😀

Thank God, ternyata saya tidak perlu mengulang kembali dari awal permainan! Cukup sinkronisasi dan jadi deh… Senang! Haha. 😀

Jadi.
Dari yang dulu memulai permainan Criminal Case ini sejak jaman masih duduk di bangku kuliah, dengan saat itu masih belum ada aplikasi mobile-nya (belum dibuat), kemudian sampai akhirnya muncul aplikasi mobile-nya, seluruh data game saling sinkron antara facebook dengan aplikasi game yang ada di handphone.
Setelah di-download semua data dan tersimpan rapi dalam handphone (walau keadaan sudah log out), kemudian pada saat ingin log in facebook untuk game via aplikasi mobile kembali, seluruh data game yang tadi sudah tersimpan banyak di handphone tersebut, kemudian ter-upload kembali ke facebook.

Sungguh menyenangkan bukan?

Memiliki akun baru, akan tetapi saya tidak perlu susah-susah mengulang game favorit tersebut dari awal. Haha. 🙂

Well, saya bukan tipe penikmat banyak game. Hanya gamegame tertentu saja dan sangat sedikit ini yang bisa saya nikmati, seperti salah satunya game Criminal Case ini.

Ngomong-ngomong, sesekali bermain game itu ternyata perlu juga ya. Hehe. Sesekali saja. Dan jangan sampai besarnya waktu bermanfaat bisa terbuang sia-sia hanya karena bermain game secara terus-menerus hingga lupa waktu.

Salam. 😉

Reverie

It’s started 2 (two) days ago. One of my friend started talk about “it” on  our Whatsapp Group and it suddenly reminded me of something.

 

I remembered about an article I’ve read several months ago. It tells about a young man who gained a scholarship and studied abroad with an “unlucky” academic condition at his previous college. Why I said “unlucky”? Because he had a “not common” condition as a scholarship awardee like others.

 

Usually people nowadays when talking about scholarships or studying abroad, they have an outlook that it would be impossible for people who don’t have good academic records from their previous schools/colleges to have an equal opportunity to others who “lucky” or in good academic condition which means they have good academic results that usually with CGPA scores is 3.0/4 or more. And it’s true. Today, almost all good universities or colleges abroad are requiring candidates with good academic performances background, e.g. a Bachelor’s Cumulative Grade Point Average (CGPA) must be at least 75% of the scale maximum or if we’re interpreted means Sarjana I (SI) degree with a final cumulative grade point average (CGPA) of 3.0/4. Sometimes for some universities, they will require beyond that criteria. Especially if those universities have good rank record of the world universities. On that case, we could say this young man didn’t meet all those “high level” requirements but he proved us that he’s made something impossible to be a possible thing.

 

Well, now I’m very enthusiastic and dreamed of being a young man on that article. But I also do repeat many questions and statements of my mind. “Would it be?”, “Should I try?”, “Ow, that’s impossible.”, “I wouldn’t make it.”, “Is it possible?”, etc. The more I’m asking my self, the more I feel curious.

 

Right after the day my friend broached the topic, I started to do research on the internet. While I was researching many things, I also asked my husband about everything and some ‘sensitive’ questions. (You know, it’s one of obligation for a wife before she could do anything she likes.) And…..unexpectedly! Like usual, he said he’ll always give his best and will always support, for everything, as long as it’s a good thing and won’t harm anybody else. Thanks, Honey! :’) If it wasn’t him, maybe I wouldn’t dare to have such wild dreams.

 

After got his permission, I’m getting more excited and intend to be more serious. I don’t want to be like “me” in previous time who didn’t consider “it” as an important thing. Yeah, we’re still don’t know what will happen in the future, next year, two years, three years, or more years from now. But, what can I do right now is only to do “trying” and “acting”.

 

We realize our condition isn’t same as like our previous life as a single person. But we have chosen and made a decision. We’re only taking an “advantage” of our condition that still in “no children” condition until today. We don’t take KB program, we’re normal, and healthy. Is there something wrong? No, we guess not. As long as we happy with our life, nothing more that we should problem with.

 

As we know, we never know what Allah’s Plan for all of us in this world, especially here for both of us. Maybe Allah Has a Better Plan or something more beautiful that could be make us happier and make our life more useful for us even useful for others? Maybe. So I would say, I won’t waste my time lamenting uncertain thing and will fill it with good activities and good things.

 

Sometimes I feel worry about what people would think to me when they know if “it” truly happened later. But like my husband always told me before, from now, I have to learn how to ignore people who don’t like me and always trying to ignore negative things that may come from them. He said, it would be many possibilities for people will talk behind us, talking about our “wrong” decisions or about our “wrong” choices. But he always said to ignore it and try not to deep think about what people would say.

 

– – –

 

Today, I’m holding a long list of “it“. And I’ve started to make marks, one by one of this my long list. I promise to focus on “it” and try not to think other people, especially them who don’t like me.

 

🙂

 

– – –

Matraman.

Thursday, 12.11.2015

17:47 WIB