Female and Engineering Life (1)

Hello February! 🙂

Today I want to tell you a little bit story about my life as an environmentalist through these 2 (two) years of working experiences, or I could say my life after graduated from Environmental Engineering field for my Bachelor’s Degree last 2013. Also how I could be on this way today.

This writing is inspired by some friends, especially my girlfriends  who always have enthusiastic when they talked about their future dreams and their “what’s next to do” even though some of them are married and have babies.

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Senior High School Graduate and “Choosing” Phase

After finished from senior high school, I admitted that I was included in “followers” type of person. I had a dream to be a police woman and wanted to continue my study to the Police Academy in Semarang, Central Java. But if I could say, maybe that was only because of I studied in semi-military senior high school which has similar school-type with the higher education of military-acamedy schools. My senior high school is applying military system, such as high disciplinary and applying boarding school system.

However, the fact said that I was a “follower” person, so I decided to try any opportunities ahead. Coincidentally, the Police Academy where I dreamed of to be part of it, didn’t open for new students in that year, 2008.
(I’m still wondering why they postponed it until a year ahead. Cmiiw. But I realize something that maybe it was what we always called as “God Always Makes a Good Plan for all of us in this world” and yes, God Always Knows the best for ourselves.)

Then I followed others to register for some tests to enter some universities, and my first preference was the UGM or Universitas Gadjah Mada which placed in Jogja, with majors I wanted to take were Dentistry and Electrical Engineering. Moreover, the UGM is near from my hometown, Banjarnegara which we only take 6 hours maximum to reach Jogja City from Banjarnegara. I took 2 (two) types of the UGM entrance examinations, but sadly I didn’t pass them all. Ha-ha. I felt really sad as if there’s no more options I could take. Well, I mean it. I had my weeping until 3 (three) days after. I don’t know why I was really sad and upset.

Then (again) I followed my friends to register another entrance examination for another university and it was the UnDip or Universitas Diponegoro which placed in Semarang, with majors I wanted to take were General Medicine and Electrical Engineering. Sadly, I was in very less information condition about various types of study fields in the university. That’s why I kept being a “follower” to others. I kept choosing what my friends chose. Really sad, wasn’t it? But before the UnDip test held, the ITB or Institut Teknlogi Bandung opened registration for its first type of entrance examination. Again, as a “follower”, I completed my registration form too like my friends did, whereas I didn’t really understand enough what study fields there were.

And it was my first inner turmoil throughout the university application processes..

Actually I really wanted to continue my higher education near my hometown, Banjarnegara which might be taken place in Purwokerto, Semarang, Jogja, or the furthest city Solo. I was a homesick type of person. I often felt it when I was still in senior high school. So I arranged my self hardly to be a student or a part of those near universities (which placed in those 4 cities). Until oneday I told my parents that I didn’t want to take another chances aside from the ITB’s entrance examination or the UnPad’s that is still also in Bandung area (same city with ITB and my senior high school), although my parents occasionally forced me to take another chances of other universities which placed in West Java area or Jakarta area, such as the UI and the IPB. No, I really didn’t want it. I said, the furthest city was only Bandung, not Bogor even more Jakarta! I remembered how angry I was. Ha-ha.

Well yes, words are words, I had to carry out what I just said to my parents. I had no other choices. So I took the ITB’s entrance examination and felt like I wouldn’t take it seriously, and wouldn’t make it. Besides it’s true that almost all the questions were really hard to be solved. I was hoping I would be rejected and could came back to my region, Central Java area. That examination held after I failed 2 (two) tests of the UGM’s. And again,  coincidentally the UnPad hadn’t open registration for its entrance examination yet.

About a month later…..

I remember that night, me and my generation, Teners were assembling in the school’s main hall  after our dinner activity before we came back to our dormitories. We were talking seriously about the national exams that would be occured in days ahead. I forget in detail, a day after that night if I’m not mistaken, me and my friends drove together into the counceling office. Yes, only for checking the announcement about the ITB’s entrance examination result. And it was really unexpected moment. Unbelievable. I read the announcement on computer screen again and again. I was stunned! I repeatedly inserted my test number and pressed “enter” only for making sure my self.

Well, well, yes. I passed the examination. But really, I felt like “floating” and on the contrary mind I started thinking that I had to deal with the separate ways again between Banjarnegara and Bandung and I had to enjoy it (again?), IF I took a chance be an ITB student. Yes, I mean it, “if”. I was in very doubtful almost a week until some friends came to me, advised me, even one of them was angry to me. They said I had to let the UGM dream go away, move on, and face the new destiny of me, accept it, enjoy it. Then one of them, his name is Pandu, he said with pressure words and a little bit like angry (because he’s really wanted to be an ITB student, but he failed on that test and felt upset), he said I HAD TO be grateful, move on, and MUST accept the chance! For a moment I was glued and started to think what he just said was so much true: I had to move on! And yes, finally by the time I realized it. But still, it was like a dream and until today I’m thinking I was just…..lucky.

(Pandu was failed on first type of ITB’s entrance examination but he made it on the second chance on the second type of its entrance examination. Today, he’s an expert geologist who’s working for one of BUMN company.)

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Being a Woman, Life, Passion, Dreams

Well, yes. After that dramatically chapter of my life, finally I accepted the result and became more grateful and wouldn’t make it as a useless chance. I was happy and preparing my self for the next stage to be part of the Ganesha Campus.

I was in Faculty of Civil and Environmental Engineering department and took Environmental Engineering for my major.

Days became weeks, weeks became months, and months became years. As I said before, I was just lucky and might be it’s true that I don’t have any aptitude to be an engineer. I needed 5 (five) years to complete my Bachelor’s Degree by the final GPA score isn’t as good as others’.

But still, really Thank God that my journey as an amateur-graduate-engineer started right after I was announced as a graduate-to-be, after finished my final thesis examination. It was in July 2013. Before the graduation ceremony, by the help of my thesis supervisor, I joined a short-term project that only held in 2 (two) months. That was my first job as an environmentalist. I was so excited and very happy, even though the salary was (maybe) in low value. But truly, as a less-smart person, I wouldn’t make that chance useless. (I won’t say my self as an idiot or a dumb after all those years that everything I’ve faced. I’ll always appreciate my self in previous life inside “college chapter” and won’t feel regret at all.)

In January 2014, I moved to Jakarta with my husband (finally we’re officially married, :p) with jobless condition. Actually, it wasn’t a problem anymore for my self because I’m married. But since my husband has never felt objection if I went to work, so I tried to apply for some new jobs. And back again, lucky me, I was hired by a company to have role as a junior environmental engineer or we could say as an assistant of the environmental engineer expert for a project. The point is I still have a chance and still have my lucky to implement all of I’ve learned at the college into the environmental engineering world until today.

To be honest, at the first time I acquainted with the engineering world or the ITB’s world, I didn’t have an enough knowledge what engineering field study was. It has proven by the result of my final GPA score and the 5 (five) years I had to finish my study. (ha-ha) I felt hard passing day by day there, inside the ITB. That’s why I always underline the word “lucky” for that “ITB scene” of my life.

I used to think that is very impossible for me to get an environmental engineering job, again, I thought it would be related to my GPA score. But the fate said that actually I have same opportunity with others and I don’t need to feel low self-esteem. Well yes, to be honest, I’m still feel inadequate when I compared my self with my friends until today. Nonetheless, I’m trying to be more confident and fight my faint-hearted. And gradually, I’m accustomed by this engineering field and becoming enjoy with its world. Met new people then increasing my network have made my self to be more spirited, confident, and relaxed with anything that happened in working situation.

I trully never imagine that my life would be as wonderful as it is. Really Thank God for everything I have. Slowly but sure, even though I’m a female and now working at engineering field, I still have dreams to develop my self and increasing my skills through a higher education or some other ways I could take later. Might be true, nowadays I’m not good enough in this engineering world but it’s still possible for me to make it as my “real” passion for my future and for my entire life.

However, I have to realize my role in this world too, my responsibility as a wife and a mother (later, insyaaAllah). I have to balance my self among my family life, my hereafter life, my dreams, and anything I want to do.

The most important thing is everything that I lived in, must have gotten permission from my husband because in accordance to the God’s rule, my life is in his hands which I became his responsibility after the consent granted happened (ijab qobul procession). And for the reciprocal, I have to keep my self keep on positive-track and always be in the right way, even if I would be very ambitious for chasing my dreams. I hope someday I could be useful not only for my self or my family but also for people around me. Aamiin. Wish me luck then. 🙂

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Matraman, 21.02.2016